I couldn't think of a more appropriate place to post this...

According to Jerry Falwell, jon is going to hell [blogspot.com] after all.

so, that bacon he's been eating anyway won't make the difference.

I know he was worried.

I was under the impression that the bible categorically stated that Jews would go to heaven anyway.

Certain bible-bashers should pay more attention to the good book in future.

I'll save seats for both of you. Sartre said it best.

It seems to me that God has never been very explicit about what the Jews were chosen for...

"Hey, you... hold this a moment, will you? And I could use a glass of water too. Thanks."

Very good news indeed.

If Falwell's right (no, stay with me on this one, I know, but I need the suspension of disbelief for a second, okay?) Then he's going to heaven. Jon may have been eating the bacon on purpouse to avoid spending eternity with him.

But, of course, given the whole non existence of god thing, it doesn't really matter at all, does it?

But, of course, given the whole non existence of god thing, it doesn't really matter at all, does it?

Place your bets! Place your bets! All money on the table could win double!

Certain bible-bashers should pay more attention to the good book in future.

It's a defensive mechanism, you see. It wouldn't do to go around crashing our little thinky-boxes every time we saw a geometrically impossible nth-dimensional shape, after all.

Cognitive dissonance, oh how I love thee! Only second to "pure delusion" on my list of mind-bending delights which make the world tolerable.

<Disclaimer> This post contains an anti-whitetrash slant. If you are offended by it, remember that you should turn the other cheek ;-)<&/Disclaimer>

Err, I'd like to ask a question.
Is this guy a complete and utter annally retentive myopic bigot? I ask purely from my desire to seek enlightenment.
Don’t tell me. The earth was created in just six days and is only 8,000 years old. God created the fossil records to test our faith. Judaism does not predate Christ and Moses was mugged by non-believers who STOLE the covenant from Christianity.

I’m tolerant; ish. But some things make me want to invest in a nuclear arsenal and nuke these morons to the far side of the Galaxy.

There is no teaching in the Gospel that says you must be a White Middle American Inbred to go to Heaven. According to the scriptures that this dumb-ass refers to, Jesus died to Save us All.

Yup that’s it. Everyone. There is nothing in the Gospels, to the best of my knowledge, that states that conversion is a prerequisite to salvation. The Lord was a Jew and as such his teaching was aimed at the Jews.

Finally, *PANT* *PANT* *PANT*, may I remind everyone of Jesus’s words at the Last Supper
“Take this, all of you, and drink from it. This is the cup of my blood, the blood of the everlasting covenant. Do this in memory of me.” [That’s from memory] So every time you drink wine, and I’ll let you extrapolate to beer and spirits but not alcopops, you are fulfilling Christ’s wish and so you can go to Heaven.

This mass is ended, go in peace and spread the love of God.

6 [bible.com]Jesus saith to him, `I am the way, and the truth, and the life, no one doth come unto the Father, if not through me;

TI always took that to mean that Christianity kinda required the Jesus...

Oooooh. 'Unto', not 'on to'.

so, that bacon he's been eating anyway won't make the difference.

I know he was worried.

That all depends on his cholesterol.

Well, lets not even touch the subject of different translations...

But that particular passage and other similar ones that are used as the basis of the claim of Jesus as the one and only path (John 14:9, 6:35, 8:12, 8:58, 10:7, 11:25, 15:1), occur only in the Gospel of John. Big bold statements by Jesus that are fundamental to doctrine tend to show up in more than one of the Gospels. These don't. Furthermore, scholars place the writing of the Gospel of John in one of two time periods, either c.90-100 AD or sometime around 60 AD, depending on how events involving the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem in 70 AD are interpreted as an influence on the writing. Either way, it was substantially after Jesus' death, and was the last of the four gospels to be written.

Christianity by deffinition requires Jesus, but requiring faith in him for ascension/salvation/redeption, is not explicitly defined outside of these few post haste fragments from St. John.

i agree... i was just responding to the statement that it was not stated anywhere in the gospel as such.

Hey smartypants, of course you do realize that your pretty logical and historical arguments mean jack shit to most Christians, particularly the type that we are lampooning?

remember that you should turn the other cheek

spread the love

....

Wrong, Mark Twain said it best.

Touché.

No, Jon said it best.

It's better in the original Klingon.

You have a good point. Given the multi-authored - highly censored and edited over centuries by all kind of "well-meaning people" - nature of the Bible, I don't know how anyone can take anything from it for granted.

Ok now, as for the others, Asimov said it best :P

I am not necessarily belonging to any religion but I find it all fascinating. Although, I have to say that as far as versions of the bible go, I enjoy the brick testament the best so far.

Lego’s rock.

thebricktestament.com

just a friendly reminder that if you need help with the html to put links in your posts, you can check out the FAQ [goats.com] for tips.

am i that blind that i didn't notice he was a member of the tribe?

Perhaps you just don't read the strip [goats.com] carefully enough.

Sorry. i didn't realize it was a requirement to use HTML.